Vampires vs. Zombies: I Choose The Latter

Empty the Madison Square Garden. Put in a whole bunch of undead zombies. Add some blood hungry vampires and you got Apocalypse 2.0. But I do wish those ghouls beat those Sunscreen field beings. I’m biased. I hate the vampires and I just feel sorry that Blade is one of them. He is just more manly than those pussy vamps (coughing: Edward!!!)

Here are some reasons why I like zombies better than those… errr… dammit I don’ even want to say what they are.

Zombies are not as sexy as vampires. Goodness gracious! You’re beings of the underworld and should not appear like coverboys for GQ magazine.

Women would crave to be bitten by vampires, people would run for their lives not to be infected by ghouls. Dear infatuated ladies, your skin will have the feel of their fangs and I am telling you… IT’S PAINFUL. Get it now? Now dont even dream to be bitten by some English lad just because he took his top off.

There are no prominent zombie characters. For vampires we got Dracula, Lestat, Blade, and the rest of the Twilight peeps. For zombies… uhmm… errr… White Zombie? No? Uhmmm… let me see. Rob Zombie? No again? Okay. None. Low profile then. Better. Underdogs. Yes!

No one would want to kiss a zombie or even sleep with them. Whether it’s a vampire, werewolf, zombies, or any other underworld being, the idea is that you should be afraid of them. What if Edward was played by Carrot Top? Do you still want to cheer for them? Let alone have his top taken off?

Emo is to vampires as Metal is to zombies.

They have Milla Jovovich to kill them.

Zombies most famous lines are just moans. Less talk, less mistakes.

To kill a zombie, you must aim for the head. To kill a vampire, aim for heart. That means vampires are a bunch of stupids who dont use their brains.

Zombies still go for it even if they have lost a limb. Never-say-die spirit. That’s why they are called “undead”.

Just one thing I dont understand about my dear zombies. If they want flesh, then why dont they just eat each other? Anyway, I still love them.


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