Archive for the Escapades Category

Then There was Kayden Kross

Posted in Escapades, general, LOL on November 3, 2010 by bazookasamurai

I am no fan of porn at all… before. I used to see those porn videos from random DVDs that I would get from a random friend and I will just randomly play if I just randomly feel like it. And then I would feel ugly because the girls I would see on those videos are really ugly. Back then I haven’t seen any porn star I would go ga-ga about. They all look — for a lack of a better term — slutty.

I don’t care about others digging this kind of fetish but for me I just have no interest with porn. I’d rather see some R –rated film than see some mug shots of genitals grinding for a whole 15 minutes or so.

There are pretty, and I mean really pretty porn stars. But then, they still dont catch my attention. Just take for example Sasha Grey.

She does those things that even other porn stars dare not to try. She’ll even make Paris Hilton look embarrassed with her escapades. And her eyes will try to kill you. It’s just that she’s too hardcore that I cannot stomach it. Not interested.

If porn stars from the west are too dirty to even be compared to a prostitute, there are also Japanese stars like Maria Ozawa, that other men are fantasizing about.

Why?! Why are you even a porn star?!

First thing you’ll ask yourself is what the hell is she doing getting naked and be hit by some random ugly Japanese? She can have a better career than this. I think she has daddy issues and used porn as means of rebelling. But more than 100 videos made is too rebellious now.

If Sasha Grey lost my interest on her bizaare scenes, Maria just annoyed me with her baby-like moans. I don’t know if she even likes what she is doing. It’s like she’s telling you to save her from her misery.

See, even the prettiest porn stars wont catch my interest. Until some friend of mine introduced me to 1 porn actress who would change my life. A porn star too blonde to be witty, too modest to be slutty, too… too… I’m talking too much.

The girl, is none other than — drum roll please — Kayden Kross!

Must... stop... staring!

Just when I thought all porn stars are stupid, there was Kayden Kross. She’s like the typical working student, with a very extraordinary work to finance her studies. Soon to be a graduate from college, she tries to juggle her academics from her naked endeavors. And she’s not even planning to leave the industry even after graduating. Likey!

When I thought all porn stars do nothing but get naked and get laid then get paid, there was Kayden Kross. This girl, aside from having her own website, is also a blogger just like me. Although she doesn’t post frequently, you can check out her words of wisdom at unkrossed.blogspot.com. Even I got schooled with the way she does her blogs.

To top it all off, she does good porn. Her videos can make Justin Bieber reach puberty quickly (cause she still doesn’t look 16 to me).

And so when I thought everything was a fail for me in porn, she came in and made me believe that I can enjoy this adults-only world. All of a sudden, my cookies are filled with several FLV porn sites just because of her. You are a gift from heaven.

To see all her work, go to www.clubkayden.com and unkrossed.com. Talk about free advertisement.

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Before I Die II

Posted in Escapades, LOL on September 28, 2010 by bazookasamurai

I told there are a lot more things that came up my mind after posting my first BEFORE I DIE post. For those who are wondering why am I doing this, no, I do not have AIDS nor do I have Herpes. I just feel doing it.


Create a zombie short film. I college I have directed a short film, which I wasnt too proud of. Let’s just say it sucked. Someday, I want to make it up to that. I want to make a short that I know I really worked hard on. And did I mentioned I want a short about zombies? I think I am too addicted with those hideous creatures.

Join a Marathon. Wall climbing. Check. Boxing session. Check. Guess it’s time for another physical activity and joining a marathon is first in mind. Now can somebody donate some running shoes for me?

Steady...

Fire a Gun. There is something bad ass about holding 2 guns and pretend you are Dante of Devil May Cry. Of course, gun shooting for no reason is “bad” and it will eventually make you an “ass”. But what if I just try to go to a shooting range and then shoot the hell of out those targets. And I hope I dont get “out of target”.

Learn to Swim. To those who know me and are reading this, laugh like there’s no tomorrow. Yes, I am awful at swimming and you should see it for yourself. Just to give you a idea, you know how a dog swims? Enough said.

What did I tell you?

Lego. My dad bought me a Lego set when I was a kid. I didnt like it that time because it was about pirates and I prefer super heroes that time so I didnt finish building it. It’s fulfilling just like building a Gundam robot.

Get Married. Who doesnt want to? Duh!

Best part of any wedding...

And let’s stop from there. If my list goes up to 100, I think I need to reincarnate to do them all.

Strip Club: The Very First Adventure

Posted in Escapades, LOL with tags , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by bazookasamurai

It’s no Mecca. It’s no oasis. It’s no any happy place you can think of. But for us men, there’s haven unseen on this place we simply call as strip clubs. Naked women hanging on poles, dancing to the tune of a tasteless song, we get the bliss that we want — if the price is right.

I’ve never been to one before. If my memory serves me well my late Dad treated me to some bar with a VIP Room but there are no naked women there so that doesn’t count. And yes, you read it right. My Dad treated me to a club’s VIP Room. Those were one of our rare, but eye-brow raising Father and Son moments. And don’t you wish you have a Dad like that?!

Three years ago the boys in the office had a night out and we decided to go to one of them in Aurora. I didn’t realize I have to be man enough to be inside the dark place because the next scenarios proved that I am not suitable to be in this place.

So all of us paid the entrance fee, seated next to the tables adjacent to the stage, and just watched them strip their clothes off. If you were there with me, you would really think it was my first time to see a naked lady when my jaw kept open while watching a stripper danced to the tune of Forevermore. Well, I was just over-reacting that time. But their acrobatic attempts just to show off their uhmmm… assets… is some talent that they should just keep to themselves.

And I didn’t realize they have DJ’s? With accents? Do they know that there are radio stations?

Anyway, the Mamasang approached us to ask if we want some u-know-what. And so, a flock of gorgeous ladies approached our area like we ordered buckets of KFC for dinner. My chick was named Cyril, obviously not her real name, on her 20’s and said she took up Nursing but stopped cause she needed some money for her expenses. Yeah right. Here’s the thing. Common scripted stories of these women are that they stopped studying… and that they took up Nursing. Just to keep things interesting, What’s with Nursing anyway?

I really don’t have the bucks that time so the first thing I asked was “May babayaran ba ako para sa’yo?”. And believe me there are more beginner mishaps that I experienced that night.  Next up, they were given their ladies’ drinks, would serve as their tip for the night. We are 6 all in all that night, and we were given a tip or some “receipt” for us to sign to. I don’t know what was wrong with the guys, but they kept passing it to the other until it came to me. The “receipt” stated 720, price of all the GRO’s seated beside us. And would a beginner do when he received that? Knowing that the boys will give their share, I signed the little piece of paper.

After that, calamity struck. Well not really. The guys  were just in rage and told me to sign just for me. Why? I turns out that if I sign it, we will have to pay for it (makes sense). I didn’t realize the boys don’t want to pay for theirs. Oh well, so we just have to enjoy the moment,   gave their share, and just talkto the ladies. Somebody offered me a VIP Room but that’s too much now.

When my lady’s drink was consumed, she asked me if I want to buy her another, which of course I said no. Then before I knew it, she was gone like she was saying “Kita na lang tayo sa Finals!”

The club was about to close when we came in so we didn’t stay long as well. The boys didn’t buy their GRO’s another drink as well, except for one. I could definitely remember how he looked like. He was seated on our back and leaned on his chair while being hugged by her lady. He really looked like some crime boss that night.

The night ended just that. We went home with no memories of those girls. Anyway, they’re not that interesting anyway. Don’t expect me to tell you something bizarre like I slept with all of those women. I am no Tucker Max and Barnet Stinson. This is the other story of some guy who did something that other playful guys would commonly do.

For me, it just went funny and annoying. But will I come back there? Geez! I don’t know.

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I am (somehow) AWESOME!!!

Posted in Escapades on June 26, 2010 by bazookasamurai
Barneystinson2006

Image via Wikipedia

It’s just so funny I do have different impressions on different groups of people. I chatted with a friend of mine from another company I used to worked at. And she would ask me what’s up with me, specifically, my latest object of affection. And I really had to react. Latest object of affection? Do I always have a flavor of the moment?

Just to give you an idea, I havent been dating for 2 years now, and this would always be the topic of every joke of my friends in my current office. In other words, they would think I’m this guy with an L on my forehead. But then again, those are just jokes, a way for us to laugh.

What I didnt realize is that my former officemates thinks otherwise. I actually get a whole lotta a respect from them like I am Tucker Max or Barney Stinson. Oh well, different people, different impressions.  All of a sudden, I think I am awesome! Wait for it!

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